Explaining Ourselves as WAHM?
After working at home for so many years, I cannot believe that I still get such crazy questions but I do. “Are you a scammer?” “Do you stuff envelopes?” “Do you make any real money?” Why is it that people cannot believe that some of us do actually make a great income from our computers?
Case in point – my own father. I love him dearly, but sometimes he still thinks that I am getting scammed in some way. People don’t always understand what we do. Sometimes it is simply envy, but other times it is a total misunderstanding of how hard and work intensive being a WAHM can be.
So, I am writing this article for all the WAHM’s out there who have a hard time explaining themselves to friends and family. Use this text as your “answer” the next time someone asks how you earn money from home or whether you can pick up their kids since “you are at home all day”.
We Are Working
Yes, folks, even when we may be in our pajamas with hair all a mess, we are working. We are not eating bon bons while watching the soaps on TV. We are working.
Just as you go to work in your uncomfortable suit, we go to work as well. In fact, our work may be a bit harder as we never escape it. It’s in our home, after all.
We are not lounging around waiting to find something to do. We are feverishly working to get ourselves ahead. We may be marketing our websites, creating a new ebook or up to our eyeballs in business planning.
We Are Legitimate
Just because businesses are started and run at home does not mean they are not businesses. Would you tell your accountant that he was not “real” just because he has his office in his home?
Sure, if your doctor is working from his living room…. well, that’s a real problem. But if your SEO person or life coach or favorite blogger is working on a home computer, what’s the big deal? What makes that illegitimate?
It’s 2012, people. Businesses are created everyday. The Internet has leveled the playing field and allowed those of us who are forward-thinking to create businesses out of nothingness. Well, not nothingness really…. we pull our businesses straight out of our own brains.
We Are Entrepreneurs
Why do we work from home when we could have a nice “stable” paycheck with those sought-after health benefits? Some of us are just made that way.
I worked in the corporate world for almost 5 years, and I was not made for it. I don’t like getting up early, putting on clothes that are not comfortable, telling my kids goodbye, sitting in traffic for an hour, rushing through my short lunch break and getting back into traffic yet again. That just ain’t my style.
For many of us WAHMs, we work from home to be with our family more. We work from home to pursue our passions and dreams. We work from home to build our futures and not line some employer’s wallet. We work from home for freedom.
So, the next time you time you think that we aren’t working hard or that we must be scamming people, please reconsider your perceptions. WAHMs and other online entrepreneurs are the trailblazers of the 21st century. They are the visionaries of the computer age. They are the moms and dads who want a brighter future for their families and are using the Internet to do it.
Charity Cason is a WAHM and online business trainer. After a long career as a Journalist and then real estate broker, Charity became a freelance ghostwriter and online entrepreneur. You can listen to her 24 part, 16+ hour audio interview series with other female entrepreneurs at http://charitycason.com/marketinginterviews/ and take her WAHM quiz at http://waystomakemoneyathome.org/compare-work-at-home-businesses/.
Thank you Charity for your guest post. Opportunity to guest post here.
And to see my latest guest post check out Blogging Success: Success is Failure.
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Mindblowing Annie….like this tight voiceless slap to those who think that we are not working any serious at all just because we stay at home all the time.
I too passed with the same situation when I have first started but just like you I have made them realize that what we are doing all the time and also realize that they don’t even able dream and dare to work like us because it requires lots of talent, hard work, understanding, dedication, patience etc..
Anyway thanks a lot for this. This is my most FAVORITE post among all your post.
Megan Brown created this awesome post: Bathroom Ceiling Lights
Hi, Megan! I am glad you enjoyed my guest blog post! It takes a lot of “educating” to get our friends and family members to understand that we are most definitely working even when we are at home! Of course, when I try to explain WHAT I do, many people still don’t understand it.
Much Success!
Charity Cason created this awesome post: 2012 Is The Year of Giving Back
Megan,
Thanks for the compliment, I am glad Charity wrote here.
I am still an up and coming WAHM but I gotta tell ya, it is a hard journey. From the start it feels like nobody is behind you. Actually, many times they are against, for the reasons above. I almost feel I need to buy a new car or replace the roof of the house to prove there is an income coming in. (Well, when I get enough income I may just buy that new car.)
Thanks Charity.
Allie created this awesome post: Blogging Success: Failure Is Success
Such a useful post. I think part of the struggle is convincing others of the legitimacy of our work, and part is also convincing ourselves.
JLLopez1006 created this awesome post: How to Earn a Little Extra from the Comfort of Your Couch
Jen,
Tell me about it. There ARE days I wonder if I am actually a WAHM or just a blogger. I am trying so hard and in the end I am still left with a blog and a backache.
~Allie
Allie created this awesome post: Blogging Success: Failure Is Success
That’s a great point too. I know when I started working online, there were days that I would sit at my computer for hours in my pajamas, hair unbrushed, forgetting lunch…. and the wonder what I had accomplished at the end of the day.
In many ways, working at home is harder and takes more brain power than a regular 9 to 5 because you truly have to be self-directed and motivated!
Charity
Charity Cason created this awesome post: LinkedIn Training Course for $7
I would totally agree; working from home becomes tough unless you don’t get used to the schedule. Though I go out for work and do freelancing together at the moment and have a schedule to stick to. I feel when I was doing just the freelance bit it got tougher to make a daily schedule and stick to it!
Hajra created this awesome post: Will they call you over for a bloggers party?
Hey Charity,
Though I ain’t a mom but I did work as a freelance writer for a while and I could relate to some things mentioned here. It was like I was unemployed; when I told people that I am doing freelance writing some of them actually told me this “So, you don’t really have a job; that’s okay” But I did! Not that not having a job is something to be ashamed about but why doesn’t working from home considered a professions. Do we always have to wear our shiny shoes and up tight suits to prove that we are employed?
Hajra created this awesome post: Will they call you over for a bloggers party?
Hi, Hajra! I know what you mean. I still have family members who will occasionally ask me if I am looking for a “real” job.
I don’t know how they think that I pay my mortgage, have my kids in karate and piano, etc. It all goes back to people thinking that some kind of “scam” MUST be involved. LOL
Charity
Charity Cason created this awesome post: 2012 Is The Year of Giving Back
Hajra,
My goal this year is to focus and be sure I have a schedule, so it is funny you mention that. I have a list of reachable daily and weekly to-dos and I go from there. Now if all the money would just roll in, lol.
I can say, I do have it slightly easier because I transitioned from SAHM to WAHM status. Not that people don’t still ask if it is real, but they seem t be a little more forgiving.
~Allie
Allie created this awesome post: Blogging Success: Failure Is Success
Yeah and what about WAHDs?
why can’t I just have my hair in a mess without people calling me a total drop out loser?
I don’t even like football.
Hi, Alan! I am all for WAHDs too as my husband is one! He works with me in our online businesses. Before I left corporate America years ago, he was a stay at home Dad homeschooling our 3 kids alone. I have much respect for WAHDs! (He doesn’t like sports at all and wears his comfortable clothes all day too)
Charity
Charity Cason created this awesome post: 2012 Is The Year of Giving Back
Alan,
I like football. Actually I love football. LOL. But I get your point.
I think WAHD’s are a small unnoticed group but you guys don’t seem to need or want recognition. Is that because you are men and don’t feel you need it or does society accept men working from home more openly?
~Allie
Allie created this awesome post: Blogging Success: Failure Is Success
In my case it’s because I don’t really consider myself a WAHD – I would never use that term, but I suppose I am in a way.
On your last question it probably depends upon the work, the industry and also the timescale. In my last line of work (Business Consultancy) all of the major corporates had a flexible work programme but though they couldn’t say it, the idea of working from home was actually much less accepted for men than for women (and not really well accepted for either).
But maybe we’re starting to get into a different type of work at home when we start talking about work from home.
I prefer to think of myself as someone who’s location independant rather than work at home, and the fact that I happen to be a Dad has nothing to do with it really
it’s more a lifestyle design choice.
This could become a very deep and involved discussion…
One thing I have noticed over the years is that my husband gets a lot of pushback when he is the one who attends a homeschool functions or something similar with the kids during a normal work day. This was especially bad when I worked in corporate America and my kids were in preschool. We live in an area adjacent to a high dollar neighborhood, so the moms are very “Desperate Housewives” kind of people. He would go to a preschool party or a play date, and the women would literally ignore him. They acted like he was some kind of reject.
I would go and they would talk to me. I guess people automatically assumed that I was working and he was lounging around or somehow less than a real man because he does his work at home (at the time he was a successful real estate agent, actually).
Sometimes it gets to him, but I always tell him that one day his kids will be so much better for having had such an accessible and involved father in their lives (especially my 2 girls). They have always had him at home…..
Charity Cason created this awesome post: 2012 Is The Year of Giving Back
Charity,
As a mostly SAHM and formerly addicted to volunteering for my kids, I remember seeing and meeting husbands like yours. They were business owners that made time to come to help out or support their children or worked nights and can come by when possible. Moms do react differently to the men. It still feels like the world that involves our children seems like a woman’s realm. It is sad because it is a great thing when dad gets involved anytime he feels he can.
The tone is changing but that is not necessarily a good thing because now these men are making mom friends. Do you know what happens when opposite sexes are friends and start to hang out a lot more? Gossip and rumors about them and sometimes they are true.
It is sad that the women ignored him. My guess is that they feel inadequate in falsely thinking that his wife is out earning a living in a high profile job and they are “playing mommy”. Let them stick to their botox and high priced handbags. He didn’t need to talk them anyway.
~Allie
Allie created this awesome post: Blogging Success: Failure Is Success
I am usually at home wearing my normal home clothing. When people I know see me, they often ask the same question “do you have a job?”. I don’t blame them, especially with what I am wearing as well as I am usually seen at home. I don’t let them get to me. I love what I am doing and the income is just right.
Jennifer created this awesome post: DTS Home
Jennifer,
I am actually guilty of wondering if people have jobs when I see them all the time durong the day. But then I have to wonder if they think that about me. LOL.
~Allie
Allie created this awesome post: Blogging Success: Failure Is Success
This made me laugh. In the corporate world i used to work for software and internet marketing companies so we (our company culture in silicon valley) was very internet oriented so to speak. last year when i went to stay in Montreal with my family for a time, i was surprised at how everyone thought i was fooling around online. This was not an isolated even. Old friends from high school thought this. My cousins, aunts and even my brother thought this. I can only chalk it up to ignorance? They still have no idea what i do or used to do for a living online because they can’t see it or feel it i guess. SIGH. Oh well.
Annie Andre created this awesome post: Adventures In France #1: Life Abroad Will Be Miserable Unless You Do This One Thing
Yeah, but were you really fooling around online?
Alan,
only half the time.
Annie Andre created this awesome post: Adventures In France #1: Life Abroad Will Be Miserable Unless You Do This One Thing
not bad – you’re getting better then
Annie,
I have to admit, being social online feels like I am fooling around sometimes. It honestly feels like a job that I love.
So, yes, I guess I am “fooling around” making friends, building my brand, talking on Skype and writing about what fascinates me. If this is work, I’ll stick around.
~Allie
Allie created this awesome post: Blogging Success: Failure Is Success
Interesting indeed; I do exist in a corporate environment and we have 70+ employees in two locations and three buildings. The economy has made us rethink many things, and occupancy costs certainly have been one of them. We currently have 5 employees working remotely (from there home) and as we jettison some of these buildings, we will probably have quite a few more.
Personally, I like the structure and would want to get away from the house (and my wife would make me anyway), but I do think it is an ideal (and more productive) fit for some. I’m sure more businesses will be adopting some variation of this model because of the reach of the internet.
Thanks for sharing.
Bill Dorman created this awesome post: The change that almost wasn’t
Bill,
My own husband can work remotely from home at times. (But not that often, thank God, lol.) It is actually very strange. I watch him log into someone’s computer and you can literally see their desktop. I find it creepy to have access like that.
Business is changing with the times and luckily working from home or like Alan said, “location independent”, is starting to be accepted more often. Now if we can stop the negative stigma of “WAHM”.
~Allie
Allie created this awesome post: Blogging Success: Failure Is Success
That’s funny,
I get the same thing when I tell people I work in Marketing. They think I just look at Facebook all day.
It’s hilarious.
Thanks for the fun article.
Bryce Christiansen created this awesome post: What a Photo Snapping Macaque Taught Me About Courage
Bryce,
Don’t try to lie, we all know you are on FB all day. Oh, I’m sorry, Twitter and Google+ also. LOL.
~Allie
Allie created this awesome post: Blogging Success: Failure Is Success
I agree with you 100%! Some people don’t understand why we chose to work at home. Why we spend more time in front of the computers instead of getting a regular paying job. Our employers are legitimate too.
And the main reason why we work at home is because we would have more time to spend with our family. We could watch our children grow. 
Pinay WAHM Blogger created this awesome post: A Negation on Why Being A WAHM Is Bad For Business
Pinay WAHM,
I have found that even though I get much interaction with my peers online I miss the live interaction. I make sure I get out with my girlfriends as often as possible.
I wouldn’t change what I do, I love it!
~Allie
Allie created this awesome post: Blogging Success: Failure Is Success
Great post, my wife & I work from home and home school our kids. We get questioned all the time on these two issues. I then explain to them that by working at home and home schooling, we are earning tax free income. There is a cost to sending kids to school and a cost to having a domestic. We save that money and it is therefore tax free income
Wade,
I am a little confused and maybe you don’t live in the US BUT income over a certain amount must be reported every year.
And how is it a direct cost to sending kids to school? We do pay out of our taxes for schools, whether our kids go to public, private or home school. My point is that you don’t get out of that by having them home-schooled.
Just some questions???
~Allie
Allie created this awesome post: Blogging Success: Failure Is Success
People are funny, just because they do not think they can do it they do not think you can. I try not to let that bother me. I would rather let the check speak for itself.
Michael Belk created this awesome post: Do conceited people have a high self-esteem? Self-Perception
Michael,
I like your attitude! It is 100% awesome! Don’t listen to the naysayers out there, follow your own path.
~Allie
Allie created this awesome post: Blogging Success: Failure Is Success
This is definitely a big help to me…Thanks a lot for this one…Great job too!
MarryAnnh created this awesome post: How To Overcome Anxiety
Thanks MarryAnnh. Best wishes on your journey.
~Allie
Allie created this awesome post: Blogging Success: Failure Is Success
It is true that working at home is a bit nonconventional and tough for some to understand. Even for myself, I still check ‘homemaker’ under employment though I treat my blog as a business. It’s tough to change the way we think about certain things and especially so for those that don’t understand that you don’t have to get dressed and drive to work to help support your family financially.
TerriAnn created this awesome post: Self-Service Pet Wash at Pet Food Express (Incl. Cute Video)
TerriAnn,
Especially where we live, working form home is definitely an advantage. I would just go crazy commuting!
Yep, for now I check homemaker too. Although, I can also check Substitute teacher but that doesn’t earn a whopping amount of money either.
~Allie
Thanks for stopping by! I showed my daughter your doggie video, she was laughing.
Allie created this awesome post: Blogging Success: Failure Is Success
Hi Allie,
I live in South Africa. In my country we pay for education at school. So for example we would pay about $420 per month for our twins to go to school, excluding uniforms, and other school related costs. So if I don’t spend that money then I have earned it and it is tax free. Hope this makes sense?
Wade,
Wow! It makes complete sense. And would make sense to teach your children at home. They are getting a better education from you than any government or private school can give. You know what your children need most.
Good luck and have a pleasant day.
~Allie
Allie created this awesome post: Blogging Success: Failure Is Success
Hi Alie,
There’s nothing more can be in working at a times, I and my wife are both working and we are enjoying at the same stuff… Her friends under at online marketing stuff offer a kind of home base business such creating an article.. What do you think about it, is it worthy?
Brandon created this awesome post: website
Brandon,
Just like blogging and affiliate marketing takes a lot of time, know how and effort, so will article writing. I know many people that write articles for a living, rather it is freelancing or actually writing for article places like HubPages or Squidoo. It can bring in an income but takes a lot of marketing and work.
Once you know how to do it well, don’t give up. Keep going and you will see results.
~Allie
Allie created this awesome post: Blogging Success: Failure Is Success